Do you ever find yourself asking the question, “Why God, Why?” 

We’ve asked that question countless times throughout our marriage, especially over the last two and a half years of trying to grow our family. In this season of waiting, we’ve experienced emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, discouragement, and even resentment. 

It’s been easy to lose sight of God’s faithfulness and goodness because of the lies we’ve allowed to cloud our minds–lies like, “You are not worthy enough to be parents,” or “You haven’t earned God’s favor.” 

Though it is incredibly hard at times, through this season we are learning to become content with where He has us. Now we find ourselves asking the question, “What are you showing and teaching us, God?” 

We often go back to the story of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis, where God promised them their son, Isaac. Genesis 17:15-21 shows us a conversation between God and Abraham where God tells him directly that Sarah will have a child. Abraham falls on his face and responds in verse 17, “‘Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?’” (v. 17). 

Here we see a man that was used mightily by God yet laughing at God’s promise. This shows us that Abraham was human, allowing himself to feel his emotions, even as they revealed his lack of faith. What Abraham and Sarah didn’t realize was that God was working the entire time they were waiting.

We relate so much to this ancient couple’s story. While God hasn’t audibly promised us a child—and it may be that He never does—we know that He is a promise-keeper and a master storyteller.

If you’re asking, “Why, God, why?” we want to encourage you. Though this season may be difficult, trust that God is working. You can find rest right where He has you. 

Romans 8:26-28 tells us how: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (ESV).

Contributed by: Joshua & Melissa Hochstetler
 

Reflection: 
 

1. The idea of difficult emotions and the importance of bringing our full humanity to God has surfaced a few times. Take a moment to notice any shifts or newfound freedom in how you approach this. Do you still find it challenging to honestly express and pray through your emotions?
    
2. As you’ve journeyed through this devotional and reflected on the losses you’ve experienced, both large and small, how have your insights evolved? Has anything surprising or unexpected come into view?

Prayer:

Father,

I come to You with my full humanity—my doubts, my fears, my grief, and my hope. You see every part of me, even the emotions I struggle to name or bring before You. As I reflect on the losses I’ve experienced, I ask for Your guidance in the insights You’ve shown me. Help me see with new eyes where You are at work in my story, even in the places that feel too heavy or confusing.

Lord, grant me the courage to be honest with You about what I feel. When my prayers are more groans than words, I trust that Your Spirit intercedes for me with understanding beyond what I can express. Help me release the pressure of needing to “arrive” at healing and instead lean into the next step You’ve laid before me.

Help me see–and take–that step, Lord. Amen.