Psalm 22:1-2 (NIV)
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”
Grief is a common theme in my life, and like King David, I have cried out to God asking similar questions. When I think back on my life, each season seems to hold its own form of loss and grief. From my parents’ rocky marriage in my childhood, to the loss of relationships in college as a new Christian, to painful transitions from beloved ministry roles and a seemingly never-ending journey in singleness, sorrow and loss have been present to varying degrees reminding me that heartache, the loss of dreams, and the struggle for hope are products of our broken world.
Each season of grief and loss pushed me to question God–His goodness, His plan, and His purposes. It took years of tears, countless counseling sessions, and the support of those who have walked with God longer than I had to build my understanding that the most important thing was what I believed about God and the faithfulness of His character.
Marriage finally became a part of my story in my 40s, and within a few months, my husband and I were delighted to discover that we were pregnant with a prayed-for child. But once again, grief knocked on the door of this joyous season. At our 20-week ultrasound, we learned that our baby boy had serious health issues. He was born two months premature and could not survive on his own. We were allowed two precious weeks with him before surrendering him back to the Lord.
The loss of Everett Josiah Kilian King was so multifaceted. It was also followed by a journey of miscarriage and infertility in which all the hopes and dreams that come with raising a child were gone. When asked how we have walked through grief, Everett solidified two things for me that I had been learning in my previous seasons of grief: be ok with sitting in my feelings, without trying to escape it or dismiss them, and trust in God. These have allowed me to walk in places of deep sorrow while still holding on to joy.
Psalm 22 perfectly illustrates the back-and-forth dance of crying out to God in raw honesty and then remembering His faithfulness. We also see this pattern in other psalms, the Book of Job, Lamentations, and prophets like Habakkuk. Even Jesus shouted at God, “Why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). But Paul reminds us of the most important thing: “[…] I know the one in whom my faith is set […]” (2 Timothy 1:12).
We know more loss will come in this life. Lord, help us cling more readily to this pattern in the midst of pain and sorrow.
Contributed by: Jenny Rone King
Reflection:
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What emotions do you find difficult to sit with, and how could acknowledging them lead you closer to God? If it’s difficult to name, consider taking a moment to pray and ask God to reveal your heart to you in the coming days.
- How can the example of others in scripture inspire you to express your own grief to God?
Personal Lament Psalm (Optional ~15-20 min)
Lament gives voice to our pain while acknowledging God’s presence in the midst of it. Psalm 22 is a powerful expression of this, where David pours out his anguish and feelings of abandonment, yet clings to his faith in God. Using Psalm 22 as a guide, take time to write your own lament—honestly expressing your hurt, confusion, or grief to God. You can also look to other laments in scripture, like Psalm 13, 42, or 88, for inspiration. In doing so, allow the act of lament to create space for God’s acceptance and comfort, and the possibility of renewed hope.