We were just about a week away from relocating our family of five from Middle Tennessee to a town halfway around the world in the Netherlands when my best friend invited me to a Bible study on Nehemiah. With the movers scheduled to arrive that weekend, it seemed like a perfect way to bond with her and have some extra time with the Lord.

I learned about how Nehemiah never questioned where he was supposed to be or what he was supposed to be doing when he rebuilt Jerusalem, even when facing opposition from all sides. I remember thinking how timely the study was, as I had already begun to plan out what my "mission field" would look like and brace myself for the inevitable attacks. I thought I was ready for all the trials headed my way, but I couldn't have been more wrong. 

After facing things like whooping cough, chipped teeth, a flea infestation, wrecked cars, and countless other difficulties during our first year in a foreign country, I began to feel like God had abandoned me. I knew in my heart and mind what scripture said, but I just couldn’t feel His presence. For the next two years we lived there, I stayed in the Word and continued to participate in Bible studies, but I still felt like God was very distant. 

After returning to our hometown in Tennessee, I struggled with feeling like a failure at being a Christian. I had viewed our experience overseas as my personal mission field, but I felt like I had failed. I couldn't understand why God had abandoned me when I had been obedient to His call. 

But God doesn't promise us victory in obedience. 

Sometimes, the purpose of obedience is to teach us faithfulness to God, not to our own desires. I realized that my purpose for our life overseas wasn't the same as God's purpose for my life. God had always been faithful to me, but was I faithful to Him? I needed God to show me that He is the very air I need to breathe every day–that I cannot survive without Him. I'm not sure this lesson would have been as effective had I not felt so alone. 

God knows our strengths and weaknesses, and He knows how to use our circumstances to refine us and make us more like Him. Psalm 16:5 says, "Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine" (NLT).  He is a good and faithful guardian. He is worthy of our praise every moment–even when we have to wait to understand His purposes.

Contributed by: Christi Kennedy

 

Reflection Song:

Embrace the Silence
A Meditation for Waiting on God (~5-10 Minutes)
 

Take a moment to settle into a quiet space. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in, slowly releasing it. Allow your body to relax, sinking into stillness.

As the noise of the world fades, you may notice an emptiness—a sense of waiting, of longing. Know that it’s okay to feel this way. It’s in this silence that God often does His deepest work.

Breathe in slowly, and as you breathe out, let go of the need to rush or to hear immediate answers. Allow the quiet to wrap around you, not as a void, but as an invitation to be with God in the stillness.

Whisper to your heart: God is here. He is present, even when He feels distant.

In this space, release the pressure to fill the silence with words, feelings, or expectations. Simply rest. Know that God is holding you in this silence.

God is here.

You may not hear His voice right now. You may feel lonely, unsure of where He is. 

God is here.

Trust that even in the waiting, even in the quiet:

God is here.

As you breathe, acknowledge Him meeting you here, not necessarily with answers, but with His presence.

When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes and carry the peace of this moment with you. Remember: God’s silence is not absence. In the quiet, He is still at work.


Further resources on waiting:
God on Mute: Engaging The Silence Of Unanswered Prayer By: Pete Grieg